I’m Married and My Toxic Ex-Girlfriend Is Pressuring Me to Meet Her. I Don’t Know How to Fix This

She texted me some days ago and told me she has heard the bad news (My wife had a stillbirth)
and that she’s sorry about it. It was pretty unexpected to receive a text from her since our
relationship was super toxic and ended many years ago. We never talked again after we broke
up and i never wanted to see her ever again. I didn’t want any trouble so i just said thanks. But
now she texted me and said that she has to tell me something in person. I told her she can say
it in a text and it would be much better but she says she can only say it in person. She said she’ll
meet me on a cafe and I refused cause why the fuck would a go to a cafe with my ex gf for the
unknown reason that can be any weird shit? But then she said she’ll come to our house if i
don’t go there. The point is, my wife’s currently at her worst and seeing this dickhead will only
make her feel even worse. On the other hand, going to a cafe is pretty fucked up too and i don’t
have a good feeling about it at all. My biggest weak point is being anxious and pessimistic all
the time and considering the worst scenario ever. I’m also worried about what she wants to tell
me. That’s why I can’t just ignore it. I want to know what’s going on. I’m so stressed about this
and i really don’t know what to do.

Comments
 First off, tell your wife if you have not already that the toxic ex is contacting you and
trying to meet up. I would not put it past the toxic ex to bypass you and tell your wife.
Whatever you decide to do, decide it with your wife and do not meet up with ex alone.

 Don’t go! Your wife is at her most vulnerable right now and she needs you with her, not
sneaking out to see your toxic ex who has “something” to tell you. Also, you are in a
vulnerable state and if this woman is no good she will use your loss against you. Text
your ex that you will not meet and that if she shows up at your house you will call the
cops. If she truly has something important to tell you, she can wait until you and your
wife have recovered from your loss and can both meet with her in person. I am very
sorry you are going through this. My thoughts are with you and your wife.

 Block her and stop inviting drama into your life. If she shows up at your door call the
police to have her removed from the property. Tell her not to contact you again. Don’t
even entertain her. Whatever it is in the past and best left there

 You tell her that you and your wife have just suffered a huge loss, and you can’t believe
how selfish she is, and if she turns up she’ll be arrested. There’s nothing she has to tell
her you that is suddenly so urgent. She’s going to tell you about how she is a miscarriage
to you or other nonsense and never told you. Shut this down hard. Don’t be kind. Don’t
be polite.
o I agree with this. Tell her that if she shows up at your home, you will call the
police on her for trespassing. Then block her. She’s just trying to cause your wife
more trauma but implicating you in some shady activity.
o
 Dude, come on. She knows you’re vulnerable and she knows how to manipulate you. In
an ideal world you wouldn’t have replied to her message but you have. So tell her you
don’t want to hear from her again, if she turns up you’ll call the police then block her.
Lock down your socials and think about who you can trust with info if she heard about
the miscarriage. Don’t speak to her again. Focus on your wife and healing.

 Don’t go. If I found out my bf went to meet his ex and didn’t tell me I would assume
that’s because something happened. Be clear that you want no contact with her and
that if she shows up at your house she will not be welcomed. Fulfilling your curiosity is
not worth what it would put your wife through. You both have just been through
something seriously traumatic and need time alone together without any drama. Good
luck and I’m so sorry for your loss.

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