PSA: You do not have to explain your boundaries

I saw a post the other day where someone was frustrated at a client pushing and pushing. There was a hot tub involved. Anyway.

I want everyone here to remember that every explanation we give, every ‘polite’ excuse… they see it as an obstacle to overcome. Do not give them ammunition. I remember a client who just would not stop arguing with me over whether we got to do an activity or not. I would offer my reasons and he just argued and came up with counter-reasons. I finally told him to gtfo at which point he tried to argue me out of that. Every new little idea or argument he offered, I just clamped my mouth shut and made eye contact. I wanted SO BAD to make him see my perspective but ultimately, someone who is going to argue like that is never coming around.

It’s not always, or even often, malicious. I have done it myself to friends before I realized how crappy it is. Its just being used to getting what you want and trying to overcome obstacles. You say 250 and he counter offers? ‘No, thank you.’ He thinks dinner or hot tub time is part of compensation? ‘No thank you.’ No explanations, no haggling… you can’t argue with a brick wall and a wall with a smile isn’t rude.

It’s not easy. We’re programmed to be nice, and sometimes there are underlying relationships, but you do not have to explain your boundaries. They just are.

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