I am so fucking dumb. I literally have met with this dude before and he was always so cool and I was thinking like wow kind of seems like we could have a good relationship forming and BOOM After we was all done and shit, he offered to smoke a joint with me and I agreed. We just giving and chilling and we finish it and he’s like if u want to shower now is a good time so I’m like high and don’t think twice and I’m like yeah why not ILL TELL U WHY NOT tell me why in the shower I’m like “in a perfect world I’d get out and he’d be gone with the money on the table “……. get out and he’s fucking gone. Nothing on the table. Piece of shit.
Comments
- There is nothing worse than trusting someone who you think is cool, and realizing way too late that he’s a piece of s***. I hope that never happens again.
- None of the guys are trustworthy. 16 years and every single one I trusted fucked me big time
- Yes that’s terrible. You meet someone who appears to be the perfect client and realize they are horrible. And every time you trust someone, they fail you.
- None of the guys are trustworthy. 16 years and every single one I trusted fucked me big time
- I really recommend always getting the money at the beginning. Even if he’s a regular.
- Yeah, idk why I just feel kind of like a bitch to ask for it first??? Like idk I’m new to this but wow that was a slap in the face
- I’m so sorry this happened to you. Even with my regular providers I made sure to pay up front.
- Sorry, that happened to you…yeah, some men will 💯 throw away a great working relationship to get off once for “free” (being thieving, violating pieces of shit).
- I know what you mean about “feeling bitchy” even though only asking for something agreed upon, it just takes practice…they’re big boys and can handle it. I do my best to screen out assholes, and even though most who make it to meeting in person are good, fielding texts from sooo many assholes who don’t care about my feelings has made me not give a shit how they feel about the business part. Once it’s taken care of, I’m warmer and pleasant.
- It always blows my mind when this happens. Especially when it’s someone who they obviously enjoyed seeing well enough to come back multiple times! Aside from just being a complete dick move, it’s so short-sighted. I guarantee at some point they’re going to wish they could come back, but now they’ve burned that bridge.
- Obviously, he was already done with her. For a lot of these guys, it’s about variety and he saw the opportunity to take that money back to buy himself another one.
- I think they don’t care about burning bridges because they want to scam as many providers possible. :/
- I’m surprised more of them aren’t scared of us lol. A lot of girls have pimps who are gang or mob affiliated. The mob owns a lot of the agencies too. I’m surprised they’re not shit scared to rip us off knowing we have their name from screening and can easily find out where they live. I know girls who would have someone at the guys door in a snap of a finger to get that money. Maybe it’s just where I’m working though? They really don’t fuck around here
- To be fair, you would have to have the exact right amount of “being afraid” to have an effect. If you are too afraid of pimps, you will likely not become any kind of client, not even a “scared” one. If you are not afraid at pimps at all, you will scam whenever you want. Only if you are so afraid that you think bad things will happen if you do bad things, but not otherwise, you would be a client where you could perceive an effect.
- I’ve always wondered about that, why cash payments weren’t an option. I guess for this case scenario the guy saw a chance to get his money back and secured and he took it. I would fucking lose it if my job messed with my paycheck by a couple bucks. Can’t imagine how it feels to provide this kind of service only to get nothing except a slap on the face. Dudes an asshole
- If anyone complains about it (they shouldn’t) just tell them why you’ve had to start doing it that way and say it’s nothing personal. If they raise a big stink about it, to me that’s a red flag that either they’re looking to pull something similar, or they just don’t respect you enough. If you set the expectation before meeting as well that payment is to be upfront, it should hopefully weed these guys out somewhat. I think we all have this slap in the face by a regular at least once, but it’s a learning experience, albeit a painful one.
- This is a mistake you only make once.
Get it at the beginning of the session AND THEN MOVE IT OUT OF SIGHT. Don’t leave the envelope within view during your session — same thing happened to me once several years ago on a 4-hour bdsm session ($1000). My third session with a client from out of town. Had an amazing session, went to the bathroom at the end, and he quickly ran off with the envelope that I had collected at the beginning of the session and stupidly left on the counter. Just ran to his car and drove off. Nowadays, I always count the money in a separate room and store it in a separate room out of sight. Even for regulars.
- This is what I say when I walk in and don’t see the money anywhere (after a couple of phrases of small talk), “Alright, I know the donation is somewhere, but I’m not seeing it.” Or, “Okay, then I’ll take the donation, go wash my hands and we can get started.”
- At my incall I have a leather envelope in the bathroom, so I invite them to wash their hands and say, “Okay, the donation goes into the red envelope, please wash your hands with soap, and here’s your clean towel.” I haven’t had anyone suggest they’d pay in the end so far, but if they did, I’d say, “Oh I prefer to take care of the business side first and then relax and enjoy,” or “I’m sorry, this is not how it works,” depending on their attitude. If the attitude seems potentially dangerous, you’d want to bolt asap anyway.
- just out of curiosity is there a reason you use the phrase “prefer to”? In my mind it would make more sense to say “always” there, because saying it’s a preference makes it sound like it’s optional/up for debate. or is it more if he tries to pressure then you know he’s likely to be dodgy and then you bail?
- It depends on who’s in front of me. Most people understand “prefer” in this case as “that’s how we gonna be doing it buddy,” the same way you’d say “I’m afraid we’ll need to take care of this upfront” doesn’t mean I’m literally afraid, it means “that’s how we gonna be doing it buddy.”
- it’s not bitchy at all. You walk through my door, and if you don’t immediately start reaching for my tribute, I will ask you for it. Nothing more is happening until I have money in hand.
- Always count it too before leaving them. I am a bit new as well and I was shorted by a third of it. It is frustrating so I am just doing a lot more research on these subs so I can avoid getting burned. It sucks that this is how we have to learn though, clients can be pigs honestly.
- Don’t feel like that. I have been so nervous a couple of times that I completely forgot about payment. The lady simply asked for it, and I handed it over. No fuss. Usually just a, ‘Can you just pay me first, please?’ and nothing more needs to be said.
- rule number 1, ALWAYS get the money up front. no exceptions. We may disagree a lot on this sub, but we can all agree on that
- Yeah, I felt awkward asking for the money when I started. You get used to it. I usually have like a sentence that I say automatically, so I don’t have to overthink and can say it with confidence. Really there is no reason to feel bad about this. You deserve your compensation, just be assertive and firm about it.
- Noooooo honey!!! You HAVE to ask for it upfront! If you, don’t it WILLLL happen again! If they don’t put it down before we start, I just say “Oh! Babe, do you have the donation?” I’ve never had anyone be upset about me asking. Please get it first!
- I always tell them we won’t discuss my fee when we meet but they should have it on the bathroom vanity. That way I count it and hide it before anything else happens. When I arrive, I use the bathroom. But I was once high and had part of my fee taken back when I left my bag unattended. We have to stop trusting these guys. They are on their best behavior at first so you will relax and trust them. This is when they will remove condoms, steal back fees, film you and drug you. They suck. It happens to us all and I am sorry it happened to you. Black lists him.
- Reading this makes me feel a bit better about not counting it one time and getting shorted. I felt so dumb and stupid and told myself that this doesn’t happen to anyone else you need to be smarter. I am just doing a lot more reading on these subs to educate myself more for tips and safety.
- Everyone pretty much covered it, but wanted to add don’t ever let a trick out of your sight, like don’t take a shower while he’s out there chillin or he could leave with a lot more than the $ he brought!
- I’m gonna echo what some other people here have said, but not getting paid for your service is an assault. I’m sorry this happened to you. Don’t listen to anyone who tries to tell you should have known or expected it or anything because being trusting is not something you need to feel bad about. This guy took advantage of your trust and he is the one who should feel like shit. You won’t know if he ever does, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is you take the lessons you learned from this experience and learn to apply them to better protect yourself in the future. Sounds like you already know how to do that, you just need to find the confidence to insist for payment first. The secret to confidence is performing it btw. You don’t actually have to be confident, just make people think you are. I believe in you and your capacity to do this. Hope you do to 💛
- As a client I ALWAYS get the money out of the way. Mfs will play you if u let them.
- Same here. One time she for some reason put the envelope on my kitchen table and forgot about it. As she was leaving, I noticed it and ran it out to her. I kinda had a suspicion too that she was more into me than she was ready for, and was maybe a bit flustered. NGL I was really into her too, but I stick to boundaries.
- On the topic of getting paid first, I do a few different things for work (including full-service sex work) most of them are one on one client work. I once had a trainer comment at a multiday training I was doing, when we were talking about appointment flow, that I always got them to pay first. She said “that’s such a sex worker thing to do” and directly said that after the appointment was more appropriate. The reality is, that lots of different service providers do take payment upfront these days. Especially specialist and niche services. Or they take your card details during the booking process and charge you even if you don’t show up for the appointment. Apart from the potential dicks who have no intention of paying, processing payment first means it’s not something you have to keep in your head for the length of the appointment. You can relax more. Or at least I can. Rehearse a little phrase that works for you, and if they don’t immediately offer payment, then reel that off every time. Even if it feels uncomfortable. I will say, the only thing I do notice if I take payment upfront for my other work, is that I’m slightly less likely to get tips from new people if they pay before the appointment. Having said that, I do live in a country where tipping isn’t standard across all industries. And my pricing doesn’t make me reliant on that, and I prefer to get paid first, in almost all work situations. And you’re not dumb. You had a work relationship with this person, and you trusted them. It happens. And it’s so shit when it does!!!!
- Wow I would lose my mind honestly. What a desperate loser for him to do that. And please don’t comment and point out the obvious – telling her she should have got the money upfront is victim blaming and I’m sure she already knows that. We ALL let our guard down with the wrong person now and then it’s human nature ❤️
- I would never shower until they’re gone. Chalk it up to the game. You won’t ever trust a guy again
- Also, money first. Then make them shower. Hide money while they’re in the shower. NEVER TRUST A TRICK. EVER.
- I’m so sorry! I know exactly how you feel! I have told this before but I’ll tell it again so you don’t feel so alone…I had a regular, a really nice and gentlemanly guy (so I thought 🙄). We finished our session and he asked for a bottle of water. I went to get it. By the time I was coming back to the room he was on the way out of the room and grabbed the water and said he had to hurry back to work. I didn’t even think anything of it. I said bye and he went on his way. A little later I went to where I keep my money stash and it was GONE!!!! He must have watched where I put the money and when I went to get the water he took it all. 😫😭. I never heard from him again. 😭😭😭. Y’all use this as your sign to NEVER TRUST a client! No matter how many times you have seen them or how “nice” they seem!
- Why are you not getting payment up front regardless of if you get high or shower you should be doing this?
- this happened to me the other day. It just reminds me why I always get the money first, and also why I am requiring deposits now too
- You aren’t wrong to expect a level of respect for doing your job and expecting payment. I advise letting other people in your line of work know who this person was on a encrypted chat/messenger. I
- Always money first and put it away somewhere safe. This has happened to my gf several times in the past, while she is using the bathroom.
- this makes me so angry. any time I have been trying to be nice and not super crazy about money first, I have always been assaulted. If u want dm me
- I’m so sorry this happened to you 🙁 you have to be SO careful!! If you shower, bring all your belongings with you into the bathroom and ofc, like so many have said here, get the money up front. It can feel awkward but you have to think of it professionally – people are used to paying for other services up front and this is a job just like any other.